Well, the end has come…I did not make it the full 30 days. I started failing pretty fast the last couple of days and my husband was extremely worried that I had gone too far. So my official tally is 21 1/2 days. In the bigger picture, that sounds incredible. Now I just have to get myself past all the self bashing.
I feel like I have let so many people down. I made such a big deal out of going the full 30 days and so many people have been watching and praying for me. I found my connection to God about a week ago, so I accomplished the main goal I set out to, I needed to get right with God. I have found myself praying more, soul-searching and just basically discovering myself in God’s world. I am grasping onto that now as I battle the demons of failure. They keep whispering in my head about how I failed. I let everyone down. How they knew I couldn’t finish yet another task that I have started. These are the same demons that tell me that I am unworthy of the success that Mona-Vie will bring me. That I don’t deserve to have nice things and not worry about my bills. That I am not good enough to offer help to those less fortunate than me. These are the voices that up until now I chose to listen to exclusively and allow myself to drown in the darkness they bring. But no more!
Today I offer myself to the world as a contender. I will no longer hide in the shadows and wallow in self pity. I will no longer allow myself to be brought down by anyone or anything. I have to believe that God has big plans for me and that I have to stand up to the task.
My biggest motivations for succeeding with Mona-Vie are:
1) The phenominal health it has brought to my family. I would feel extreme guilt if I did not at least attempt to share this with anyone and everyone I know.
2) My nephew. He is autistic and my sister has lived somewhat of a nightmare trying to get him taken care of in school. My nephew is a joy and he is not the source of my sister’s struggles. The trouble is getting him schooled. I want to be able to fund a safe and long term center for autistic children and adults.
3) I need to prove to myself that I can finish something I start and this is going to be it. My fast has just proven to me that the Mona-Vie is an extraordinary product. Without it I would not have made it this far. People can say whatever they want about the cost, but you are not going to find anything with this kind of nutritional value for any less, especially something that will pay you!!
So, as I end my fast and start moving forward, I pray that I will continue to honor God in all I do and I pray for the best for all of you!! I invite you to at least consider the benefits and the opportunity that Mona-Vie offers. What do you have to lose? Less than $300 investment for your health and the potential to become financially secure. There is no other opportunity out there that can offer you more.
Thanks for coming by! God Bless!
Milestone #1 made yesterday!! I have officially hit the halfway mark on my fast. From here on out I have less days left to go on the fast than I have gone through, YAY!!
It has definitely been a learning experience. I’ve also discovered that I have taken off those negative glass that I wear when I look at myself. I KNOW I have lost weight because I have clothes that I can wear that I couldn’t before. But I don’t SEE it. I still look the same to myself when I look in the mirror. I start getting frustrated and then I remember that the main goal of this fast is not the weight (it is ONE of the goals but not the MAIN goal), I am trying to find my place in God’s world. And I know that these feelings of frustration are just the enemy’s way of trying to avert me from my goals. Which tells me that I must be on the right path.
A friend of mine started a 10 day fast on Monday. She is now at the stage where she isn’t hungry perse but misses food, which is the biggest problem I have. We joked because we talked about how frustrating it is to see other people eat and we can’t. I told her it makes me want to throw things at the “eaters”. That’s my little inside joke. There’s me and then there’s the ‘eaters’! LOL
A comment posted on ‘Days 7-13’ if from a gentleman who is facing his own demons. He told me I inspired him. That just amazes me as I have never seen myself as the inspiring type. I just the person who does so much better in the shadows, behind the scenes, that sort of thing. One thing I am learning is that I don’t think that is God’s plan for me. I am getting this deep feeling inside that He is planning on taking me out of my ‘safe’ shadows (although I don’t know how safe they really are) and making me do more things that are totally outside of my comfort zone. All I can say at this point is: His will be done. I am His, He makes no mistakes. We make the mistakes, we try to insert our own plans into what God has planned for us. That’s what causes us so much strife. So right here and now, I commit myself, and submit myself to God’s will. I will quiet the voices in my head that keep telling me how unworthy I am and listen for His word.
Thank you for coming by and please check out Gary’s blog (the link is in one of his comments) and maybe offer him some support to. It’s always a good motivator to continue if we know people are ‘watching’. May God bless your days and keep your nights safe.
Day 14 went by pretty uneventfully, no major changes or epiphanies. Just a lot of thinking…oh..yeah and one big mistake.
I’ve been feeling a little weak so I’ve added chicken broth to my routine. Well last night I thought I’d be smart and add an egg to my soup for a little more protein…BIG MISTAKE!! But I got through it ok and I am back to just liquids for a while. I don’t need anymore episodes like that!! :0)
Satruday night we had a great service at our church and one of the things they offered to us was a station where we could write on a rock the thing we wanted Jesus to take from us the most and then put the rock in water and wash it away just like Jesus does for us. Well, I’m not ashamed to say that the thing I wanted Jesus to take out of my way the most was myself. I do more damage to myself than any outside influence. This fast has helped me see that. I keep trying to make excuses as to why I should just give up. Stupid excuses. If it were not for my husband I think I would have caved a while ago. On that note, let me just say that should you be considering, even a little, doing a fast like this…don’t do it if you do not have someone close by that will support you fully on this journey. Yes, the main purpose for me is to get closer to God. But along the way, the world tries to get back in and if you don’t have a support person in place, it will be so much harder.
I am still waiting for more connection with God and as each day goes by, I feel I am getting closer to that. I find myself asking what is it that God truly wants from me. How can I use the gifts that He has given me to better build His kingdom? How can I be sure that the gifts I think I have are the gifts He wants me to focus on? These are the questions I’m hoping to be closer to an answer to by the end of the month.
So as I begin day 15 and close the first half of my fast, I am looking forward to the second half and what God will reveal to me. I am looking forward to spending time with my husband as we move forward together in our lifestyle changes and get healthier for our next 20 years together (and as many more as we can be graced with). I am looking forward to sharing Mona-Vie with whomever will listen so that we can share this great juice with the hopes that so many others will be blessed with the health that it has given us. I am looking forward to more time with friends and family and building new friendships along the way. I am looking forward to every day that God gives me and hope that I honor Him in it.
Thank you for stopping by! God Bless!
Ok, ok! So I’ve slacked on the journal! But I haven’t slacked on the fast. 13 days and still going strong. The remainder of last week went fairly well. No major issues, no problems or hard struggles. I say that now, but I know that while I was going through some of the days, I thought I would just cry, well, I DID cry! It is a really hard struggle to just not eat. I miss food terribly and with all the food around me, I half defeated myself coming up with of a ton of reasons why I should eat. And YESTERDAY!!!! Let me just say that I spent the day outside while we were at my in-laws. There was just too much food there. Basically holidays consist of eating until it’s time to eat!
All in all, the going has been a struggle but not impossible. I have stood in my kitchen and cried on my husband’s shoulder because I just wanted something…anything…and yet I didn’t want to quit. I have prayed (am praying) daily to make it through. I can’t guarantee that I’ll make it all 30 days, but I can tell you I am going to go as long as possible to finish what I started. That’s what this is really about, finding the person inside of me who is not afraid. Who will make a commitment and stick to it. Who is ready to give whatever necessary for God.
I will try to stay on top of this journal more, but now I need to email my mom and sister as I didn’t get in touch with them for Easter and I want to say Hi before I go to bed.
Thanks for stopping by, God Bless!
~ Jena ~
Just a quick update tonight. The day was really rough due to stress issues involving my son. The stress is not really helping my motivation. It was a really long day especially since I worked 13 hours. Then I made the mistake of torturing myself by watching Diners, Drive-in & Dives!!!! I love that show because I love small restaurants like the kind he features. But, no real worries. I’m not truly even hungry, I just miss eating. I love the taste of food. Of course smelling what my family eats is hard, but without real hunger pains, I’m doing ok.
I am just really tired today. So I am off to bed so I can meet a friend for ‘breakfast’ tomorrow (how ironic).
Good Night and God Bless!!
Yesterday started out pretty good. I was not hungry AT ALL when I woke up. I drank my Mona-Vie and then stayed with water for the rest of the day. Wes and I moved some stuff around (more physicalwork than I do in week!!)
I am finding out that the mornings are fairly easy as I am not usually hungry then. It is between 3-5 that my hunger pains have started this weekend. What I am learning the most is how much of our lives revolve around food. At work it seems that the whole morning is spent figuring out where to go or what to have for lunch. There are candy dishes and snack stuff EVERYWHERE!! And as I mentioned Friday, stress really causes you to seek out comfort food. Then to top things off, being in a Methodist church, there is food all the time everywhere you turn!
Another thing I am learning is how to refocus on God. I have been doing a lot of praying. And the enemy has been doing a lot of attacking!! He is throwing temptation at me with every breath it seems. But I have found away to slow down time!!!! Time surely does drag when you can’t eat! As day 5 SLOWLY draws to a close, I realize that I have a huge task still ahead of me. 25 more days to go!
I’d like to issue a request. Maybe a challenge even. Start taking the time to look at the nutrition in the foods you currently eat. Check out the protein content as well as the fat, sugar/carbs, and calorie content. Start looking for the healthiest (and let’s say mildly inexpensive) meals you can find…and share them with me. I have 25 days to spend on creating a new lifestyle. I am looking for high quality, affordable meals that are not too time consuming or difficult to make. We enjoy fish, especially salmon, and will be cooking more chicken. A few red meat choices are ok, but we have to be careful about the quantity. The more veggies the better!!! Our current favorite is grilled zucchini.
Once again, please know that your comments are welcomed and appreciated. It’s always good to know that people are reading and what they think about what they are reading. Feel free to send this site to anyone who you think might like it!
Thanks for coming and God bless!
~ Jena ~
Yesterday was a very tough day!! I was hungrier than I have been in a long time when I woke up. Then proceeded to lose control of my car in the rain and but by the grace of God, did not hit anyone, only the mediun and did minor damage to the car (we think). So I spent the rest of the day pretty shook up and wanting all sorts of comfort food. My favorite being Popeye’s mashed potatoes and gravy!! But, alas, it was not to be.
The demons were playing havoc with my too. Every excuse I could think of (or they could think of) was circling around in my head. Including the wedding of some dear friends!! But I refused to give in. I did have two little bites of watermelon because I am doing juice & water. My poor husband had to listen to me dealing with all this. But all in all I am feeling pretty good about myself and staying on track. I could see the enemy for what he was and managed to overcome him. I definitely had to turn to God to do it, but I am so thankful to have Him to turn to.
My husband is truly a God send at this time. He is very supportive of my task and even tries not to eat around me. My close friends are also really helping me by offering support and prayers. I truly feel this will not only bring me closer to God, but allow me to build stronger relationships with my friends and family.
As always, thank you for stopping by, please come back anytime. God bless!