I am a little wary about bringing this up again, but I have found that it seems to be something that a lot of people are struggling with. I just feel compelled to go into this a bit further and see if I can help somebody out there break the cycle of self-destruction that comes from us failing to forgive ourselves.
WARNING!!! The following contains references to Jesus and God. These are strictly my beliefs and what they have done to help me. However, the results are still the same and may still be of help to someone who is not a christian or religious at all. Please, read on…
For me the hardest thing about forgiving myself was me not being willing to accept that I am allowed to be happy. I just couldn’t see how, with all the mistakes I have made in my life, I could be able to help others or be worthy of such people as I have in my life now. I got to a point where I accepted that even though I could never be worthy of God, He still wanted me to be near Him. But then I couldn’t get past not being worthy of other humans. Now, when you roll those words around in your head, they sound RIDICULOUS!! At least to me…I mean we are all the same, we’re just doing different things in our lives.
You know, it says in many places in the Bible that Jesus did not come here to save the “saved”, He came to save the “lost”, the “sinners”, the misguided. He also said that we are not to judge anyone!! That includes ourselves. If I spend all my energy judging all my mistakes, how am I honoring Him? Jesus asked that we spend our lives helping others find God, living as God said we should…2 rules…Love God…Love your neighbor as yourself…if you do just these two things, there are no sins that you could commit that would keep you from God. Well in order to love our neighbors, we have to first love ourselves.
Ok, let me make a suggestion, find one or more of the following books:
This Present Darkness ~ Frank Peretti
Piercing the Darkness ~ Frank Peretti
Screwtape Letters ~ C.S. Lewis
These books give you a way to see the battles you face on an easier to handle level. I can’t really explain more about them as it would just take too long to do here. Just trust that you will not be the same after you read them.
Back to the main topic, forgiving yourself. What do you have to gain by NOT forgiving yourself? More importantly, what do you have to LOSE by it? Living your life in a self-induced blackness of fear, self-loathing, anger, worthlessness will not do anyone any good. And it could and will hurt others. Now most of the time, while we are wrapped up in our own problems we fail to consider how our actions are hurting others. We just can’t see that because we don’t believe that we could have an impact on anyone else’s life since we are so worthless ourself. However, that is simply UNTRUE!! Humans are a social species, that is how we were created, therefore when we seclude ourselves from others, we lose the gift of love and support that we draw from one another that helps us battle the demons that try until the day we die to defeat us. Now, what good would come from actually forgiving yourself? Untold treasures would be revealed. Forgiving yourself will allow you to reach out to others and offer them love and support. Even if you don’t believe in God, people, you can still reach out to others. You can still take the time to smile at someone, tell them to have a great day. You’d be surprised how something as simple as that can make a huge difference in someone else’s life. Stop judging yourself. Just live life like there is no tomorrow. There may not be. Tell those close to you that you love them, smile at a stranger. Smile at anyone, INCLUDING YOURSELF!!
Please, just try it. Say, “I forgive myself all the mistakes of my pasts. I know that I am bound to make more mistakes in the future but the worst would be to continue living in this pit of negativity I have locked myself in any longer. I believe that I am worthy of happiness and that part of that happiness will come from others.” Then, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know how you did. Or post a comment here if you’d like to encourage others to do the same.
Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your time and pray for everyone to find the peace in their heart it takes to survive! God bless!!